6rn4y 57738 kaa95 6n8ak 45d24 snzsa eisyb ak88b 6hd7f 74z64 9ztbh iy28a 3bke2 neakb bekeb tb5e7 ydtdf 5r4rk 5drdh dtrd7 teb6i Finally!! |


2021.12.04 07:55 BTK-VENOM43 Finally!!

Finally!! submitted by BTK-VENOM43 to slimeisekaimemories [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 caligalus Two days until the fuckery begins again

Two days until the fuckery begins again submitted by caligalus to WorkersStrikeBack [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 f0rty-s3v3n Need advice please- TW: rape involving minors, suicidal thoughts


I(17f)didn’t know which sub to post this on so I posted it on quite a few. I think I was raped by my (now) ex-boyfriend(16m). I would like some clarity on what I should’ve been on the lookout for or if I could’ve stopped it from happening. Basically how much of it was my fault. I’m sorry if it’s long. (TW: sexual assault)

We met when I was 16 and he was 15 towards the end of 2020. I had just shifted apartments and was in a terrible place mentally. I had cut all my friends off and was very depressed and suicidal. He shifted to the same apartment a few months later and we met through a mutual friend. I find it very hard to connect with people so when we hit it off immediately it felt amazing. I wasn’t looking for anything romantic with him initially because he was younger than me and I wasn’t keen on the idea, but we quickly became best friends and knew that we started liking each other. I was very against dating because because I felt like I wasn’t emotionally ready and he said he was too. We started kissing and making out and soon after admitted that we had feelings for each other on call one night. He asked me why we aren’t dating and I told him that it wouldn’t end well, and that the idea just icks me out a little. But he kept being like why not, and to have some faith, so I agreed. Mind you, I really liked him at this point so I was willing to give it a shot.

I’d never gone past 2nd base before and he’d already had sex so it wasn’t as much of a big deal to him. Before we started dating I gave him head which I guess gave him the get go that I was ready to do anything. Since we lived in the same apartment we met everyday, and after that day he would kind of expect it everyday even when I just wanted to kiss. I was a little surprised at the beginning but I thought it was normal and I didn’t want to disappoint so I went ahead with it. He’d also constantly turn every conversation we had, especially late at night, into something sexual even when I made it clear that I was uncomfortable. I’d give in every time because I didn’t want him to think I didn’t like him, and tried to convince myself that it was just because he liked me.

I should’ve realised then that he wasn’t educated about consent, but I was so blinded by how much I liked him and how good it felt to have someone with you 24/7 that I told myself that these were all normal things to expect in a relationship. I had an abusive childhood too so love seemed different to me than what it may be for others. I told him I wanted to wait and that I wanted my first time to be special, be it with him or not. He said yes absolutely and many things which made me trust him further, although his actions showed otherwise.

My friend(16f at the time) was groomed by another guy in our friend group(19m at the time) into hooking up straight after her break up. He knew that she was a virgin and that she expected only making out, maybe 3rd base max but penetrated her without asking for her consent. It happened in the washroom of a common building in our apartment and soon after she told our friend group. Him and I talked about how horrible it was, and he said that it was awful and how disgusting it was for him to do something like that. I was glad he felt that way. Not even a week later, he takes me to the same washroom.

We were looking at his old childhood pictures before that, and laughing together. It was a nice night. He told me that he had to go home soon and to go to the washroom with him. I thought making out can’t hurt and went with him. We kissed, and before I knew it he had taken mine and his clothes off. All I remember is everything moving super fast. I was on top of him kissing him when I felt that he was trying to penetrate me. I told him that I’m scared and that I wasn’t sure, but I thought it must’ve been a mistake because we’d already talked about it. And he himself had said that he didn’t want me to lose my virginity to some quickie in a dark washroom. He didn’t ask me if I wanted to. Before I knew it he was inside me. I just remember feeling completely numb. My mind was frozen in some sort of icy shock. Screaming what the fuck is going on what the fuck is happening. I didn’t make a single sound. I didn’t say no. I let him continue. I just wanted it to be over with. Towards the end pushed me off him and shoved my head down again. I resisted by lifting my head up once, but once he pushed again I gave in.

He got up and handed me my clothes and started dressing himself. I still remember exactly what he was wearing, what I was wearing, the feeling of clutching my clothes to my chest in that dark dingy washroom.
I couldn’t speak. He realised something was wrong when I couldn’t speak. He helped me get dressed and kissed me on the forehead and asked are you ok? I didn’t say anything except push him away. I could tell that he was getting scared. What’s wrong he kept asking, over and over and over. Whatever I tried to speak came out in whispers. I didn’t realise I was whispering until I saw him lean closer and closer to catch what I was trying to say. He kept trying to hold my hand. I was so heartbroken. I trusted him so much. I felt so dirty and disgusting and violated. I felt like the one thing that was truly mine in this world had been taken away from me for 5 minutes of someone’s gratification. I dropped him home.

I was so confused. What had just happened? I called my younger sister(15m) before he got into the lift when I realised my voice hadn’t come back so he took the phone from me and told her that he thinks he made me sad. He went home. My sister and I aren’t close but we have this kinship in the fact we’ve been through the same things together. That was the first time I hugged her in my life. I sobbed until I was sore, and she did too. I told her what had happened. I didn’t feel like myself anymore. It felt like the last, hopeful, part of me had been ripped away. Like my heart had been ripped away from my chest, beating and bloody till it eventually stopped. I told him not to tell anyone. He messaged me saying he’s such a terrible boyfriend and that he is so sorry and that I should stab him if it makes me feel better. I scrubbed myself raw in the shower that night for what felt like hours trying the get the memory out of my skin.

I’m going to spare you the details now. But after this I broke up with him after a couple days, he insisted that we should still be friends. I didn’t want to lose him. Losing him at the same time this happened would’ve felt like 2 tragedies at once. We started dating again barely a month later. I wished that he would leave because I didn’t have the strength to. I had no space to myself. He told me he understood that what he did was wrong and that he loved me. When I asked him how could someone who loves someone else rape them he said he thought I wanted to. And that he thought I said I was scared and I don’t know because I thought someone was outside. I comforted him because he felt bad about raping me.

He told me he’d get panic attacks when I talked about it which made me stop because I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Then he’d ask me why I don’t talk to him ab it. I was the only one who believed him when he said it was an accident, a mistake. Deep down I knew it wasn’t of course, like everyone else, but I was so blinded by the temporary comfort being with him provided that it just didn’t matter. I wanted comfort from the person who caused the pain. I was so lost.

It was still very rocky with intense highs, and much more intense lows. But the highs were so addictive. He’d get mad when anyone suggested that our relationship was toxic. We were on and off because my friends knew about what happened and made me break up with him, but I always went back. I slept with him again too. He still pressured me but this time I told myself I’m doing it because I wanted to. There was one day when I was sobbing thinking about it in front of him and he just smiled and told me to hit him. To get it out. He kept trying to rile me up. I didn’t want to hit him, I just wanted to cry in his arms. Him smiling in that sick way did something though, and it felt like a fog had been lifted. I told my friends in the apartment and they begged him to leave me alone. He said if she wants me to I will. I knew that he’d leave me once he loves me if ever and that I’d leave once I love myself. Being with him after was some kind of self-punishment. He knew about my problems at homes, and with my mental health, I’d never, ever been so exposed and vulnerable to a single person in my life. The one time they ask me to trust them and I do it ends up like this.

Anyways, we don’t break up but his parents find out that we’re together and being quite conservative, lash out. I finally got some space from him. No contact whatsoever, and I realised that I had to break up w him. I texted him that we need to go on a break and soon after that we need to break up. He asked to meet irl just to say goodbye. I wanted to see him one last time and STILL somehow hoped that we’d be on good terms. We talked to 2mins and then he kept trying to take my mask off (pandemic), I let him and we pecked. Like a goodbye, thanks for the memories peck. I must seem very stupid and I was, but I’d give anything to get that naivety back. After that, he kept trying to makeout with me and touch me. I didn’t freeze this time. I said no, and I pushed him. Multiple times. I said stop and put my hand between us. Moved myself away, told him to please sit down. He kept going. It finally dawned on me that he was never sorry and that he’d never understand. That I can’t put myself in harms way to protect other people and make him learn, because he never will. He pushed me tried to force me to go down on him and I screamed fuck off which was when it finally hit him I guess. He sat next to me. I didn’t know what to say.

He didn’t say anything either. He fell to my feet after a while and started sobbing about how he didn’t know what was wrong with him, and that I deserve better and to please forgive him. I lost my voice again. I made him promise me that he’d never hurt another girl in his life, although the promise probably means nothing. I went home. My friends mom found out and was going to tell his and I, stupidly again, told him to tell them himself because it would be better if they heard it from his mouth. I didn’t want him to get punished I just wanted him not to do it again. He told them only about the recent time because apparently they would’ve blame me otherwise. He was still trying to convince me that he was looking out for me. I asked to speak to his mom and he refused. I asked him to tell them about the first time and he said I’m sorry, I love you but this is the most I can do for you. I can’t ruin a life long relationship with my parents.

I told my dad soon after. It broke him. He’s abusive, but I know at the end of the day, he does want what’s best for me. He asked me what I wanted to do and if I wanted to go to the police. After I told him the whole story, he essentially blamed me for going back to him. And that if I was really so disgusted with the first time why would I go alone with him afterwards. I didn’t know how to explain. Hopefully, I’ll be able to tell my therapist and she’ll explain it to him in a way he’ll understand.

I still miss him. I know it wasn’t real but I miss him so much. I don’t know how I’ll ever be normal again. I feel so unlike myself and broken.

Thank you for reading, I’d really appreciate some advice if you have any.
submitted by f0rty-s3v3n to Suicidal_Thoughts [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 myfriendohs__ hmm

hmm submitted by myfriendohs__ to hmm [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 Pimmelsenator Bad movie descriptions #1

Bad movie descriptions #1 submitted by Pimmelsenator to memes [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 DPB91 Controller turning off

Having issues and can't find any recent answers.
I can connect and play with no issue on mobile and Chromecast. But when I try through the browser on my PC the controller vibrates and turns off a few seconds after connecting.
Any ideas?
submitted by DPB91 to Stadia [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 MonclerEnthusiast Is there any point in sending this in for warranty? Or is it ‘way past it’

submitted by MonclerEnthusiast to CanadaGoose [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 MarkDrummondJ Bothy Oasis [30x30]

Bothy Oasis [30x30] submitted by MarkDrummondJ to DungeonMasters [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 CrackHeadPoet Those Indian Primitive Construction videos be like:

Building an advance archotech civilization to conquer the depts of space by hand.
submitted by CrackHeadPoet to teenagers [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 dcwerfferv How long does it take to get to not masturbating to porn for 1 week

submitted by dcwerfferv to NoFap [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 Axel_Axolot evolution makes pokémon much more fascinating

evolution makes pokémon much more fascinating submitted by Axel_Axolot to blursedimages [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 No-Opening-6766 Ryuk Wallpaper👹

Ryuk Wallpaper👹 submitted by No-Opening-6766 to AnimeART [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 lieverturksdanpaaps 1-km Square Land Cover: Trees

submitted by lieverturksdanpaaps to europe [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 boogiebear123 SafeMoon Wallet won’t open on iOS Any Suggestions?

submitted by boogiebear123 to SafeMoon [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 Westmrland53 Melanie Gillespie WPXI Pittsburgh

Melanie Gillespie WPXI Pittsburgh submitted by Westmrland53 to PittsburghNewsWomen [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 JtheZombie My character prefers to do his business anonymous 😏

My character prefers to do his business anonymous 😏 submitted by JtheZombie to AnimalCrossing [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 promaria Profile UPN pour Kadiolo Mali

submitted by promaria to machinebtp [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 sootheidiot Getting Bored of Walls 2

Getting Bored of Walls 2 submitted by sootheidiot to Technoblade [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 babygrl1365 Mine free doge. Runs In the browser

submitted by babygrl1365 to FreeCrypto [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 NoMoreFaithLess Mărturia unui secretar de stat demis de Cîţu: Corectam greşeli gramaticale grave. Un amestec letal de prostie şi rea intenţie | Epoch Times România

Mărturia unui secretar de stat demis de Cîţu: Corectam greşeli gramaticale grave. Un amestec letal de prostie şi rea intenţie | Epoch Times România submitted by NoMoreFaithLess to Romania [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 AssetStripper Blinken: Iran isn't serious, the US has other options

Anything less than nuclear is pissing in the wind. and everything including nuclear is bye bye Israel.
submitted by AssetStripper to unitedkingdom [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 MiinaNiina Frozen Chaos Season Structure (Corrected version)

Frozen Chaos Season Structure (Corrected version) submitted by MiinaNiina to WarDragons [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 Tank_maniac Jeżeli nie możesz ich pokonać...

Jeżeli nie możesz ich pokonać... submitted by Tank_maniac to Helltaker [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 vinodjetley Latest Software

2021.36.8.9.. .. . (00.0) FSD Beta 10.6
2021.36.8.8.. .. . (11.4) FSD Beta 10.5
2021.40.6.... ... . (56.2)
2021.40....... ... . (00.9)
submitted by vinodjetley to TeslaMotorsandEnergy [link] [comments]

2021.12.04 07:55 WineForLunch TIC and made my husband cry, and I blame the pregnancy hormones

I feel terrible.
I’ve long had issues with his mother, she says things for attention, whether that attention is good or bad doesn’t matter. And having problems with my own mother that lead me to cutting her 90% out of my life, so why would I put up with this from someone else’s mother? The relevant issue is that I don’t want people telling me they think I’ve gotten bigger. I know I have, and it’s not about me feeling self conscious about the baby weight, I know it’s coming back off after my daughter arrives, it’s just something I don’t want to hear and it has become a boundary. Everyone but my MIL respects that, and it was the final straw last week when she greeted me, at the top of her voice while looking me in the eye, with “YOU’VE GOTTEN SO BIG. DID YOU EXPAND OVERNIGHT?” Long story short, my husband didn’t stand up for me that night and I’ve been stewing since. I think my pregnancy hormones have finally gotten me to say fuck this, it STOPS. I’ve decided I will be polite but remove myself from her company. I’ll go over for dinner with my husband, but don’t invite me out socially. Don’t offer to buy whatever I need for my hospital bag. Don’t invite me to hang out with you and your friends while my husband has his nappy-braai today (diaper barbecue?).
Long story short, my husband made a comment this morning that he hopes I was polite when I turned her down for hanging out today. I. Lost. It. I have always been a well-behaved doormat for his mother, just to keep the peace so he doesn’t have to be uncomfortable and stand up for me. And he dared say that? I let him have it and he kept apologising profusely and agreeing with me that she’s too much and that he just wants everyone to love each other. It ended with him tearing up and just looking so defeated. It’s honestly like kicking a puppy that doesn’t know any better. I have not been easily tearful this entire pregnancy and this morning it all just came out.
We’ve made up now but my heart feels so sad that I did that instead of a calm conversation like we usually have. AND he lost a close friend, the friends fiancé and their 3 year old daughter to a head on collision a week ago that just broke him.
So while he’s out with his friends at his parents place I will be calming myself by putting up the Christmas tree.
submitted by WineForLunch to BabyBumps [link] [comments]